Mansion Site

Favorite Scenes:

Late Night Harry (Season 2, Episode 3)

SCENE: INTERIOR, TV STUDIO.HARRY FLIES ONTO A CAMERA. LANNY REESE IS MOVING AROUND, GETTING MADE UP, AND ARGUING WITH HIS ASSISTANT (MARY CHARLOTTE WILCOX WITH DARK HAIR AND A SHOW BUSINESS ACCENT).

LANNYI am trying to do cutting edge here and you keep surrounding me with stiffs!

LANNY’S ASSISTANTLanny, sweetheart, you have got to relax.

LANNYI need guests who can sparkle, people I can get something going with.

LANNY’S ASSISTANT We’re working on it, we’re doing our best.

LANNYMOCKING HER We’re doing our best!HARRY THINKS THAT WAS A LOW BLOW.

LANNYHow am I supposed to make Audrey LaMoye interesting? My audience thought she was dead… I thought she was dead!

LANNY’S ASSISTANT You can do it. You know why, Lanny? Because you’re the best. You’re beautiful. You look gorgeous!DIRECTOR WHO HAS BEEN COUNTING DOWN THE SECONDS NOW SAYS: “WE’RE ON.” LANNY’S ASSISTANT AND MAKEUP ARTIST QUICKLY LEAVE AND LANNY IS LEFT FACING THE CAMER.

LANNYWe’re back. And now I’d like to bring out my first guest. One of the great ladies of stage and screen. A living legend in the true sense of the word. Ladies and gentlemen, the miraculous… Miss Audrey LaMoye!AUDREY LAMOYE (DEBORAH THEAKER AS A VERY OLD WOMAN WEARING A 1920′S OUTFIT) WALKS ON EXTREMELY SLOWLY TO MUSIC AND AUDIENCE CLAPPING.

LANNYThe incredible… Audrey LaMoye!AUDREY STILL MOVING VERY SLOWLY TOWARDS LANNY’S DESK.

LANNYThe wonderful… Audrey LaMoye!AUDREY STILL MOVING VERY SLOWLY TOWARDS LANNY’S DESK.

LANNYThe… one of a kind… Audrey LaMoye!AUDREY BUMPS INTO THE CAMERA, A CREW MEMBER POINTS HER BACK IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

LANNYLiving legend, a living legend… Audrey LaMoye! Right here. Over, over here. Audrey LaMoye! The… Audrey LaMoye!AUDREY STILL MOVING VERY SLOWLY TOWARDS LANNY’S DESK.

LANNYAudrey! Miss Audrey LaMoye!AUDREY TRIPS ON A STEP AND FALLS OVER. THE AUDIENCE GOES SILENT AND LANNY AND HARRY ARE STARTLED. SOME CREW MEMBERS HELP HER UP.

LANNYWhat, is she okay?

AUDREYI heard something crack.

LANNYBut, but she’s all right?MUSIC STARTS UP AGAIN AS CREW MEMBERS TAKE AUDREY AWAY.

LANNYMiss Audrey Lamoye, a great artist, a great performer. And, oh yeah everything’s, everything’s under control. One of the great troopers. IN HIS ASSISTANT’S DIRECTION And we built the whole show around her!



The Prince’s Broad (Season 3, Episode 4)

SCENE: INTERIOR, MASTER BEDROOM.EDWARD (COLIN FOX) KNOCKS ON DOOR.

FREDEXCITED Come in!

EDWARDFROM OUTSIDE OF ROOM Is it contagious?

FREDOh, no… can’t be.

EDWARDI asked you a question, son.

FREDI don’t think so, father.

EDWARDThat’s not good enough. What did the doctors say?

FREDDad, this isn’t a good time.

EDWARDENTERS, CARRYING PACKAGE Well, how are we feeling?

FREDNot so good.

EDWARDYou’re not going to die on me, are you? LAUGHS. FRED IS UNIMPRESSED

EDWARDYou know, son, that’s one of the things that’s always irked me about you. Your poor sense of humour.

FREDHappy to see you too, father.

EDWARDMind if I sit down?

FREDIt’s a free country.

EDWARDSITS DOWN Brought you something. Your mother said that you might enjoy this. UNWRAPS PACKAGE WHICH CONTAINS A BOOK

FREDWell you can leave it on the table.

EDWARDIt’s not that kind of book, son. This is very special. You know, Frederick, my father always meant to read me this book but he was too busy. Just as his father meant to read it to him… but he couldn’t read.

FREDIt’s never been read?

EDWARDApparently. Until now.

EDWARDOPENS BOOK Shall I begin?

FREDYou’re going to read it to me? You’ve never done that before!

EDWARDIs that a shock, son?

FREDNo, no, I, I, I want you to, it’s, it’s just that… why now?

EDWARDWell, your mother and I were chatting this morning over toast. She seemed to think that something was… missing. We mulled it over for a while and, well, your name came up.

FREDTAKEN ABACK Ohh.

EDWARDOf course, if I’d know you were sick I probably wouldn’t have come over. In any case, uhh, shall we get on with this? TAKES GLASSES OUT OF JACKET

FREDSure, sure.

EDWARDPUTS GLASSES ON, CLEARS THROAT READING The Prince’s Broad. By Sid Goldman, and Buddy… don’t know if it’s Why-ner or Wee-ner. CLEARS THROAT, OPENS BOOK READING Many, many, many years ago, perhaps too many, if one can comprehend that many years… STOPS, LOOKS UP Took two of them to write this? READING … there lived a young maiden named… Sweetcakes.